you are the wind beneath my wings...

this is a shoutout to my mom! the most awesome person in the world. this is one of my favorite poems, for you mom:

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear; and whatever is doneby only me is your doing,my darling)i fearno fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i wantno world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always meantand whatever a sun will always sing is youhere is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart

wll

well just a quickie, we got rid of betty off my line yaya!!!! we were given a mexican guy in her place but he is funny and a hard worker unlike her. haha. finnally have all my credit cards paid off. soo happy abnout that! whoo! just 2 more things to pay off and then i'm good! well me,mom,and sis are still debating on going to fla this july but i think we tottally should. i need a vaca and i know they do to. it'll be good bonding time, plus it'll give me an excuse to go on a plane since i've never flown gonna be weird specially since i'll be by myself. ahh! but it's cool. i'm at the point in my life that i can do things like that which is totally weird cus last year i wouldve laughed in your face at the thought. i love my independence though, since it's been forever no scratch that i've never had my independence nothing about my parents, cus that's not the issue it was always me and how i could never do anything alone, i would break into a sweat and get nervous and shaky just going into walmart by myself. now it's nothing! less than nothing in fact. well i just think it's time to go to bed.ciao!

suprise

i felt as though i had gained some weight so i got on the dreaded scale and lo and behold i actually lost 1 pound,. not a lot but i'll take it haha! well we got rid of betty off our line, yeah! well i just am sick sick sick. i would've been better already i think if i'dve been able to take regular meds but with my blood pressure i'm not supposed to. so we'll see. well i g2g get ready for work.

pics

before and then 2 afters. the after pics were taken right after i got it done and you can see drops of blood towards the bottom of it.

hmm

hmm, not a lot to update on but i figured i might as well put something. work is going just a smidge better, veronica is on the verge of getting fired and she says she's gonna quit. but then we'll be short 2 people on our line. oh well. i was sposed to have this friday off cus toyota is shutt down and all but i voluntered to work on 1009 since their production is soo high they have been working till 4:30 every night for like 3 weeks straight. i feel bad for them, but our production is higher as well, i have been thinking of maybe cooking dinner this sunday i dunno, we have a sunrise service at 6:30 am. i'll probly be a zombie but that's ok. haha. but i thought that i might cook i dunno though i might go home and conk straight out and not cook so maybe i shouldn't say that i'll cook. haha. well i better go and take a shower i think betty gave me bronchitis cus she's had it for awhile and yesterday she had a fever and i told her to stay away cus i didn't wanna get sick and she's all likt oh it's just a sinus infection, that aint what she told me earlier! i think she got me sick! oh well i'll start taking my amoxicillin. well ciao!

over?

is this week over yet? i so wish! you know i work with the 2 biggest babies in the whole world! uhh i'm too tired to even think about it right now all i know is i'm ready for this week to be over especially cus next week i have friday off! yay!!! i'm going to lunch with heather and crystal tommorow. somewhere cheap. have ya'll seen gas prices??????? i heard that by april or may they'll be up to 4 or 5 dollars. i'm like uhhhhhhhhhh. i might have to start staying at someones house during the week just to save money, that might be a good idea like on thursday night or whatever but anyways my feet hurt and ihave to get up at 10:30 insert crying sign here. then thursday if i have enough money from my check i've gotta get my oil changed which means another early day cus moms going to drive it to the ladies advance and i'm gonna take the camry to work friday. but it needs an oil change i've just been to lazy to do it, so i need to take it thursday to louisville and i have to clean it out and if i have time i'll vaccumm it out, but i think they are goin gto be lucky if i clean it out! haha. mom was kinda suprised i think that i offered it to her to use but i owe them soo much and i know it would save them money if i can ever do things to help them i want to be able to. i was hoping to start paing rent but that didn't work out. well i need to get some shut eye as much as possible. ciao!

another

yes it's another update. not a lot to say except i've been snowed in, so kinda stinks kinda doesn't/. stinks cus i'll need to go ahead and clean my toom and do my laundry and clean the bathroom, but at least i'll get to see mom and dad for more than 2 seconds. everyone is over at sis's getting painting done and i went over there as soon as i woke up but i'm starving so i came back over to get a drink and decided to go ahead and make some mac and cheese and take and eat. yum! i had that for lunch at work yesterday. i geuss i better check on my water to see if it's boiling yet. ciao!

real quick

hey all! well just wanted to post a few random things on here. finnally my teething has stopped! at least for awhile. i'll deal with it when it starts back up again. i'm in the process of getting my phone and digital camera hooked up to my computer so i can post the pics, i have 2 videos of my tat being done that i'll try to put on here to, some people might be interested to see them. it's healed up nicely finnally no more infection! yay! and hey it's friday! yaya!! i'm sick of work and glad it's about to be the weekend, i get good friday off so i'm happy about that, i'll get enough sleep so i can make it to the sunrise service at church, which is going great by the way! everyone is so involved in things it's good! i wis i could do some of this stuff but it's to hard with my schedule. if your wondering why i haven't updated my weight loss tickeer it's cus i haven't checked the scales in a long time. i'll do that sometime soon. i really would love to go to the ladies advace this year but my vacation days just don't start in time, they don't start until april 1st. annoying! then i'll have 6 days 4 of which i have to take in july but i don't know what to do with the other 2. probly nothing. theres a guy at work on the verge of getting fired for missing 4 and a half days well this other chick she misses work at least once a week but she is somehow excused for it, and she hasn't even been there 90 days, ok never mind idon't even wanna go into that. i'm gonna go to bed cus i've already been shorted on my sleep cus i worked till 330 todya. ugh! overtime every night! good money but it stinks to. haha well night!

frustrated

well, it's been a while since i posted anything on here so here goes. i've been picking up this chick veronica on my way to work and stuff, she works on 1009 she took my spot on there and i took back mine on 1042. she lives in scottsburg just turn left at the cvs go like 2 miles and boom it's there so it's not outta my way anymore than going to get gas. she's a really sweet chick, she's a widower with 3 grls, her grls are so cute!! she's been having issues with her truck and so she hasn't been able to drive, we were doing it to where she drove one week i drove another but she had to get something done to the axle? not real sure, i kinda tuned out when she told me. haha. but i enjoy having someone to talk to on the way to work, she's had a really tough life and she all the time tells me that she is grateful for me, and i just take her to and from work. i mean it's not outta the way. tonight on the way home she started crying i was like whats wrong and she just said that she really appreciates me and she's not used to people helping her out without expecting anything. because i know she struggles with 3 grls and she has a house and stuff it's tough so i try to show her that there are people out there who are nice, and we talk about thebible and stuff and i tell her you know i'm a christian and thats is why there is such a huge difference between me and everyone else and she sees that. but she did give me a lil gas money and i hated to take it but she wouldn't take no for an answer. i'm the type of person who wants to do something for somebody because i can and i hate taking money or whatever from people. she's offered me gas money before but i wouldn't take it but she practically shoved it down my throat cus i know she feels bad and wants to help out. but i feel like i am rewarded everyday not with money or anything for helping her out, cus i set an example for her and her grls they don't understand why i'm so nice, and really i'm just trying to explain that for me it's not te money and yes i do need it but i'm not standing there with my hand out, cus i know when she has it she'll give it to me. like the 2nd week of the month is when she get's ike her husbands check or whatever andshe said she's going to give me money then, i know what it's like to not have money, and i'm blssed and i just wanna help others out, but sometimes people do take advantage but if i feel like she is then i'll stop picking her up. anyways i like helping people out. you know i don't understand theres a grl i work with she's real cool and stuff shes kinda like i don't know how to say it motherly at work towards me, making sure i have lunch or drink or that i have my coat but she has trouble trusting me because i don't get into fiights and stuff with my coworkers or with my head people, and i don't get into trouble. i think she might be jealous, cus she is one day nice or whatever and caring towards me and than sometimes she just keeps to herself and whatever, it's hard to explain, she's had it rough to she had an abusive husband and they divoced and so i think she just has a hard time trusting people, but i get tired of tiptoeing around her and making sure i don't hurt her felings. she's one of those people who can be a great friend or ur worst enemy. and like she'll get into a fight with another coworker or whatever i'll get pulled aside with tony asking me what all was said and what happened and i get tired of being put in the middle of stuff just cus i happen to be standing there doing my job. what do i do in that situation? i don't wanna get in the middle but i don't wanna make tony mad... but really he should just go to her, she'll tell him what happened. she's not shy, see she has the attitude of well i was looking for a job when i found this one... type of thing doens't really care. bt i think she just has a lot of fear and anger and mistrust in her. i try to fix other peoples problems and my therapist tells me i can't but i still try and i try to not make waves or have drama but it's so tiring. like tony whn i had a bunch of bad parts and he gave me a verbal for it he stood there in front of everyone yelling at me, and ya;ll know me i mean it took everything i had not to break down bawling, but i don't wanna be seen as weak so i didn't, well i did't yell back at him either and it made him even madder, he's used to people yelling back at him and talking back and i don't do that, like when he gave me my warning he asked if i had antything to add or whatever and i said no and he's like nothing? i said there is nothing i can say it was my fault and arguing and making excuses doesn't chage that i deserve my warning and i can guarantee it'll never happen again. and he was like oh ok he was shocked cus he's not used to that. see i wanna go in and do the best job i can do and that's it, i don't wanna argue and stuff. a lot of people there do though. just like if i have a problem i don't run to tony like others like say someone on our line isn't following standardized work, that's on them that is there choice to disobey and they'll get in trouble for it but some people feel the need to run to tony and tattle and that is stupid he doesn't have time to babysit our line which he ends up doing. a couple people they'll blame anyone else they can so they don't get in trouble, or they'll say well i saw her do this and this to so it wasn't just me, like taking others down with them. i mean is' just such stupid stuff! big babys! were all adults let's act like it, that's my attitude but somany people on that line don't act like it they act like big babys. but whaever i need to go to bed now. ciao!