spongemel

well, i got to work and found out that i would be over on 1008 again doing more training..... i'm starting to get suspicious that they are trying to move me over there. i started learning 2 different machines on that line to. it's also the last 2 machines and the things i have to check before i put them on the shelf. i'm like ahh! that's why i put spongemel in the title because i'm having to soak stuff up like a sponge. honestly i wouldn't mind being on 1008 cus it's really easy and i can keep up the pace pretty good to. i have been talking to mindy about how i'm feeling spriritually and we've been meeting before work and praying together and it has helped a lot. i am so thankful for her i'm just going to have to make the best of church because 1 or 2 negatives shouldn't outweigh all the positives for me. i do need to make more of an effort to learn something from toms sermons or ramblings... haha jk. well i'm tired even though i got out in 8 hours again tonight and not to mention they uped our production 200 parts from yesterday and we still got it all done and in plenty of time for me train on those 2 machines. well ciao!

different

well tonight at work was different because they were crosstraining me on another line see i've been on 1009 but they crosstrained me on 1008 on cables. i was worried that i wouldn't be able to keep up because the people on that line are fast but i had very few problems and the only time i got behind was if my machine got stuck or whatever, by the end of the night i had all my parts done and since i'm the first two machines the other 2 people had probly a good 70 or 80 parts left to finish so i had to kinda twiddle my thumbs cleaning my machine for awhile, we did production but got done an hour early so we did 2 extra boxes and we still got done 30 mins early so we had to clean, but it was ok. tony kept coming over to the line and saying good job, i mean probly 3 or 4 times he came over to check on me and said i was doing an awesome or good job. then when i was headed to sign out he and my old team leader were down a lil ways in the aisle talking and he gave me a thumbs up and said i did a great job tonight, and i was like thanks, and i was standing there waiting to sign out and they were looking at me and talking and smiling and they were talking about me i was like ya'll better quit talking about me! haha. it was nice to know that i'm doing a good job, i expected us to have to work like2 or 3 hours overtime because i'd be slow but not the case! and i didn't even break out into a sweat. well i'm kinda tired so i'm gonna go hit the hay! ciao!

stressin

i hate stressin. i'm worried about work cus i still haven't learned my new job and i almost wanna just say put me back on my old line. only 3 weeks and 6 days till christmas break! can't wait!!!

just plain over it

there comes a point when you choose to either take the right or the left fork in the road we call life. tonight was miserable for me, i disagree with tom on a lot of things he says and i get tired of the cracks about how we are just like the old church now in the way we are doing things except that we aren't there all day till midnight. yeah we are boring now! and the vulgarity of things he says like the circumsision description. it's just getting really old, i think i might visit moms church next sunday night. i don't know yet. well i'm done ranting and raving. ciao

they don't call it black friday for nothing...

black friday such a fitting name. i was an idiot and decided to go to target for the sales cus they had a leapfrog thing that mom wanted and they had sanite noah and maddies presents on sale and i had others gifts that i was getting from there so i was getting all my christmas shopping done and on sale cus i'm poor! haha. but it was crazy i didn't dress warm and i got there about 5:15 they didn't open till 6. well i ended up in line i was standing at the back of the target buildingand by the time the line had started moving and i was just getting ready to go inside the line had gone into the parking lot and all the way down to best buy, i was pushed and shoved more than a wrestler!! i ended up standing in line to check out for an hour and a half. i was soo tired cus i hadn't gone to bed yet and so amanda helped me make thanksgiving dinner and dad grilled the chicken to. i will never go again! haha. well the casewells are here so i'm gonna hangout.! ciao!

fiesta menyana

that's not the correct spelling but hey it works! translation party tommorow! mom and dad are busy putting up the tree and stuff and i've been feeding them haha, i woke up early and sat on the couch waiting for the lazy heads to get up. finally about 9 they got up well i started to get hungry so i made some cinnamon rolls and they gobbled them up! i had made some broccoli casserole for a pitch in at work yesterday and had about half left. they just got done eating some of that well i had got some lil smokies and cresent rolls and tommorow while i was cooking i figured i'd make pigs in a blanket and they could snack on them, mom wanted me to go ahead and make them so i have them in the oven right now and dad was drooling over them! haha. i had some lil smokies left over so i threw them in my little crockpot put some hot chipoltle barbeque sauce a smidge of honey and a dash of cinnamon in and it's simmering. of course i haven't eaten any of this stuff but i enjoy making stuff for mom and dad. i'm cooking thanksgiving tommorow, mom just found an ornament from grandmas house and she gave it to me it's a picture with grandma and grandpa. it's hard this time of year. dad just sniffed and said don't forget your cooking, he's drooling for the pigs in blankets haha.

confused

well i know it's been awhile since i updated but i've been very busy with work and attempting to get some sleep. i'm so glad we only work till wednesday. i'm at a crossroad right now as far as the church goes. i want to stay there for cortney but it's not healthy for me, mom and them want me to go to manville but i don't wanna go there it's to far and not what i'm looking for. so as you can see i have some hard decicions to make. i just don't know, i really really don't wanna leave cortney but it gets harder an harder every week to go there, i feel like i need a breather i geuss not from church but from our church and i have no where to go really. because i know that my family likes manville but a big church is not for me, like with all the people and stuff my nerves would be going haywire. it's just good weeks and bad weeks and it's nothing that any one person has done or not done or whatever i just feel empty and maybe it's just me and not the church maybe i've lost touch in my spiritual life i mean i defineletly need to study and pray more so that could be it. i just feel like i need a breather and a chance to step back and really focus on whats gonna be right for me and i still have to think about other people to, i don't know. i do know something needs to change. but like i said it very well could just be me and really i hope that's what it is, but i need to figure that out and i just don't know how i can. i'm just really frustrated this may seem outa the blue but i've been thinking for a long time that there was something not right or that i'm missing something maybe it's my life. i don't know. i do know that i am very very frustrated about the whole tattoo thing that i'm not allowed to get anymore and i understand and i won't until i move out but it just makes me wanna move out just for that reason, and that's not a healthy good choice, i can't afford it right now anyways. i know noone understands about my rememberance tattoo for grandma but i know that it would be such a release for me. but i like i said will obey my parents in that as well as everything else. well i hope no one is mad or anything at me but i needed to get all this off my chest i really need to get my therapy going every week again.

update

well, tony came over to me last night and said that if i could learn the last 2 jobs on that line then i could stay there so last night melissa the team leader there was training me on how to do it, it's a lot of responsibility because you are the one who checks it and puts it in the box ready for shipment, ahh!!! well at first i was wondering if tony just thought i couldn't do it and i would have to go back to my old line or if he had faith in me. i'm not sure which, last night the parts i did were the easiest parts of them all so today is going to be the true test, but tony came over there last night while i was working on the last two machines and just watched for a while and then said well i think you found a new home melissa. so i'm over there now, which alicia my old team leader isn't happy about and doyle was complaining to my new team leader that they need me down there. haha. now that i'm not down there they decide i'm good enough to be needed over there. the trick is pedro has been out on vaca monday and tuesday and that's why i was over there, he is very fast and so i hope i can keep up but now is the perfect time to learn because we are staying till 4:30 everynight even though we can get done in 8 hours we are trying to build up our parts, for thanksgiving. well i have to go get dressed and leave so wish me luck! ciao

the monday blues

well it started out as a weird monday, me and mom were tired and slept in! i almost was late for work cus i slept in a lil to much, well i made my lunch and headed to work tried to wait for mindy but i had to pee and was running outta time so i just went on in i don't know if she went today or not. at our meeting before work we found out our line was getting 2 new hires, and we were like 2? we don't need 2. well soli the mexican grl i fight over the fan with is going to days on monday!!!!! yay!!! haha. i worked on my line for about 45 mins till the new hires showed up and one learned my job and the other learned how to build. so i was told i would go weld for awhile, well tony stood over at the end of the line deliberating and i knew that i was going to learn something new, well suprise suprise when alicia said i was to go to line 1009 we are 1042, it's the same dept just down the aisle, well i was sooo mad cus i wasn't sure wat they did over there it's a small line with 6 machines, so there was an elderly lady doing the first two they put me on the second two and hosea the mexican who is teaching me spanish was on th elast two, it was an easy job first machine i put in two pins and a plate on there and they were screwed on or whatever then i take the plate thing and on the next maching i put on springs, well the springs are hard to do and they hurt my thumb! but it was easier then the main line i'm usually on. i let it known that i liked it best there, and i did fine over there to kept up the pace and made good parts it was just so less stressful! i told the team leader of that line and my normal team leader and my advisor i liked there better so maybe i'll stay there...... i doubt it though. i was supposed to go back to my line at some point in the night but there team leader wouldn't give me up haha. she joked that she was going to keep me there. were going to be working late everyday this week and part of next week cus we are still expected to ship out the same amount of parts on wednesday 2 weeks worth. ahh! haha. i'm hoping and praying that i can stay on 1009, well mom and dad are up now so i geuss i'll go and talk to them and stuff. so ciao!

tatoo

well as you all know i have a semi rainbow butterfly on my right arm, well i know that mom has really been wanting me to cover it up and i realize that i do need to do that. i feel like it's almost holding me back everytime i look at it. it'll be the one last thing to do before i've compltley closed my teenage mistakes. i'm gonna check my bills and stuff and if i have the money i'm gonna go and see about getting it fixed tommorow. i kinda wanted it to be a suprise for mom but then i thought that i should make sure it's ok with her first. so mom voice yourself now or forever hold your peace haha. as much as i am ready to get it fixed cus it truly is ugly i think. it's gonna hurt, and bad. but i geuss that's what i get huh!?!? i don't wanna go alone though but everyone else is gonna be gone i thought about asking dad but figured he'd not want to do that. if anyone wants to go with me i'll wait till next weekend or something, i think its cool to watch but not when it's me in the chair haha. i've heard a lot of good things about the madtown ink in madison i think it's by the unemployment office and that's where i'm gonna go get it done, i mean it won't take more than probly 20 or 30 mins, maybe if mom and sis get back early tommorow... who knows well i'm headin to bed. adios amigas/amigos. for some: asta menyana i so know that's not how it is spelled but it's see you tommorow in spanish, i'm learning tons from my coworkers. speaking of coworkers there is one young mexican guy that for probly 6 out of the 8 hours is at the machine right next to mine and he doesn't know my name well i get tired of them yelling hey and whistling to get my attention not the whoo whoo whistle, but anyways we had just finished one part and i was getting the brackets out for the next part well he whistled to get my attention and asked if that was the last one of course he doesn't speak like barely any english, but it was annoying so i said , louis, i have a name! and he looked at me like i was crazy and so i said again that i do have a name it's melissa. so he repeated my name and we moved on then like 5 mins later he said meeleesa and so it's a tough name but he got it finally. i'll teach them boys some manners one way or another! haha. we'll see if he remembers it though haha. 31 pounds gone. it seems like the scale is dropping but that's it, i mean i notice it in my pants, the new pants i bought when i bought them were a smidge tight and tonight i had to keep pulling them up and boy do i have plumbers butt when i bend down, i mean you see undies but i keep my shirt pulled down it's just i don't realize until it's to late that my pants aren't where they should be. i do wear long shirts and trust me i'm self consicous and am always makeing sure it's pulled down as much as possible.

this goes out to my mom

mom i know you are sooo tired of hearing this and so i really don't think it's enough but i'm sorry for how i acted today. there is no excuse for my behavior i know that you only want the best for me and sometimes i forget and to me i hear attack, but i know your not, i mean for everything that you have given me i should act more respectful towards you and i know i don't always do that. i am sorry from the bottom of my heart. i'm sorry for the attitude and i'm sorry for hurting your feelings. it's a lot for me to take in and process but i know it's hard for you to i forget that things that happen to me don't just affect me but they affect you and dad as well. i wish there was more that i could say because this just feels like it's not enough. please don't give up on me though you have been my rock throughout all this stuff that has happened, i promise to do everything in my power to keep myself in check. i know it seems like the same thing happens over and over again and it does but i'm gonna work harder. i love you and i just want you to know that i appreciate everything you do for me so much.

is my scale right??

i'm just curious if the scale is correct cus if it is it says i've lost another 3 pounds bringing my total to 28 pounds. someone pinch me! no wait i might wither away..... haha jk.

update

well it's been a few days since i updated and i know you all are just waiting in suspense as to what is happening! haha. j/k. well i went to the drs today finnally i have put it off for almost a month, well i sorta wish i hadn't. as you may know i take an antideppressant and an "add" medicine. well i had a somewhat high blood pressure before i started taking the "add" meds, well one of the side effects of it is that it raises your blood pressure so that put me basically over the line so much that i have been told i need to take medicine for that to. i was very much against it i said i've lost 25 pounds already can't we just wait and see after i lose some more weight but he didn't want me to. he asked if my ankles were swollen and i said yes i am standing for 11 or so hours 5 days a week, well he felt my legs and yep i was swollen, he just barley touched them and was like yep. i just figured i was swollen cus of standing up, but that's apparently not the only reason, he told me that the medicine he was gonna give me was also a middle diuretic and would help me to lose the water weight and until he said that i was dead set not gonna take the meds but i laughed and told him he had me at "lose weight" so i need to go fill it up tommorow, but this is just a temporary thing, he wants to see me back in a month and check up on me and if all is going well he said that he wants to see me in the spring and if i am losing weight and my blood pressure is dropping then he'll take me off of it. i have to keep track of it about every 2 or3 days. so i'm gonna pick up a calendar. i am determined to do whatever it takes to lower my blood pressure i know that there are certain foods that can help with that. well me and my swollen legs are tired and going to bed.

chillin

it's friday well technically saturday but i'm soo happy, i can just feel the weight lifting off my shoulders! not gonna talk about work, got done in 8 hours again and i got a 25$ gift certificate for the seymour chamber of commerce buisness. ok enough of that talk! dad put a mouse trap in my room but i fear fred is to smart to be caught. i'll take a broom to him soon enough he's disrupting my sleep. speaking of sleep i only got 3 hours of it last night but was suprisingly energectic. you know i was thinking earlier about how i heard that one of the top 5 things that ages a person most is their job. yep that's right work! i am living proof of that. how you ask? well i got to work and was 20 but by the time i left i was 21! so see when i walked in i was 20 out i was 21. freaky huh?? haha. made that one up myself. well i geuss i better get off here now. ciao!

but "weight"

just one last update then i'm going to bed i just checked and i have hit the halfway mark of my goal for christmas i have lost 25 pounds, i can't believe it! in not quite 2 months. i am so excited! anyways had to share that. night!

sigh

this has been a long week! but its coming to an end thankfully. tonight a miracle happened we got out of work in 8 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that hasn't happened since i've been there. we are even 88 parts ahead for tommorow. so that's probly about 16 mins we shaved off our time tommorow. it's good. hopefully we can all keep this up. it's way tiring going crazy fast but it's worth it i think. deer are out to get me, i can feel it, if you ever find there "camp" there will be wanted signs with a picture of my car on it posted all over! haha, i saw 4 deer on my way home tonight. 1 was standing on a little hill staring, almost like it was getting ready to charge! but i made it home safely and that's all that counts. i need to take a shower and do laundry so i have a clean shirt tommorow. i hate doin laundry for just one item that i need, i mean i'll do a full load but i hate only needing 1 thing out of that load, i might try to scrounge one up, surely i have one available. i've done laundry twice this week! well for some reason i have a mouse, i've kept food outta there since mom told me to, but it's there, i was hoping if i ignored it it would go away but it hasn't i don't know why.i need to set a trap. well at first i wasn't gonna go to hiriam with the fam then i thought yeah i'll go i don't wanna spend my bday alone. well i had forgot that they were staying the night and i decided that there was no way that i could go i was already giving up sleep friday night but there is no way that i could get any sleep in a hotel room with all of them if i had the money to get my own room then it would be different, cus i could get it as cool as i needed and no noise or anything. but i need to do some cleaning and stuff so it'll be fine. it'll be weird not doing our usual bday dinner but change is good. well i picked a terrible to forget my hoody i got to work and realized i didn't have it and when i got out to my car at 1:45 it was COLD, there was frost all over my car i had to wait awhile to let my car warm up and defrost so i sat there freezing. needless to say i won't be forgetting again! haha, you don't make that mistake twice, i might though. haha j/k. well i geuss it's off to bed and stuff. ciao!

21

well i'll be turning 21 this saturday seems weird considering all the threats of ddo you wanna make to 21 then .... fill in the blank of whatever i didn't do. haha. sometimes i get so mad at myself for not doing what i know needs to be done, like keeping my room clean, and cleaning the bathroom, not hard jobs at all! i think this year is going to be different i'm a grown woman now, and i need to act like it. i've got to set little goals and achieve them that is the key, i tend to look at the whole picture and get so overwhelmed that i think well why bother this is gonna happen or that's gonna happen. i just feel like i'm stuck i'm not sure wat the deal is, do i need to get out of the house? i honestly don't know. right now financially it wouldn't be a good thing. but maybe that's what i need a new start in my own place, but what if its not what i need? who knows! well i g2g to work which is going ok i'm gonna have another big check cus i have so far worked 21 hours overtime and on my last check i worked 22. i still have to days left!